Monday, September 16, 2013

Imagine the Possibilities!

I bought my ballet shoes! Believe it or not this is my first pair since I was about 5. In high school we used jazz shoes, lyrical shoes, and boots(for football season). <3 I am so excited to try them out tonight in class! I have been wearing them all day thinking about class tonight all day.
No seriously, I have been dancing around my house like a goofball all day.
Which brings me to....
My dance class has been going on for 3 weeks now. I keep thinking how it amazes me how much I remember, and that if it wasn't for all the muscle strength that I have lost I would be picking up right where I left off 2 years ago.  Well, buying my ballet shoes knocked some confidence in me. Weird right? BUT ITS TRUE! In class I have been trying to work on my turns, and I keep telling myself that I do not have the muscle strength that I used to. Turns have always been my weakness, and I never got passed a double pirouette. So with my lack of confidence this past few weeks, I have been limiting myself to singles.
I have no idea but while I was bouncing and twirling around my living room today, I thought, what the heck! I'll try it!
I had a STRONG double for both my left and right turns. I amazed, no, I SHOCKED myself! Now thinking back, I feel silly for ever doubting myself in the first place. My insecurities and fear of failing held me back from even trying more than what I KNEW I could do this past 3 weeks. You never know, I could have tried in class, fell on my butt, and been mortified! At least I would have been trying.
This whole story takes me back to a memory that has truly impacted my life. Being self conscious is not something new to me. I have struggled with it my whole life. It has affected me more than most people really know. I had it (somewhat)conquered for a little while starting in 7th grade. I mentioned in my last post that I was in cheerleading before dance and was on my middle school cheerleading squad. During practice one day, we were working on perfecting a dance and I wasn't quite getting it down. I just didn't understand because I practiced everyday at home. Well, right in the middle of the dance my coach suddenly shut the music and called me out in front of everyone. She told me straight out that I knew the dance and that I needed to dance with confidence! I was so embarrassed at being singled out, but I knew that she was right. So, she started the music over, and I took her critique and did the dance perfectly. That was a monumental turning point in my life. My coach probably doesn't remember that correction and might not even remember me for that matter, but she impacted my life in such a huge and everlasting way. I would have never been elected into the leadership positions of being cheer captain and dance team officer if I would not have applied what she told me to my entire life. Now that I have been out of dance for a while, life's ups and downs have taken a toll on me, left me beaten, and my confidence at an all time low. I refuse to let it stay like that. So here's to re-building my confidence, and not letting fear hold me back from what God wants for me to accomplish in my lifetime!! Imagine the possibilities!

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